Three months ago I had the privilege of visiting a place where the earth meets the heavens. It is mostly untouched by our modern ways. It's vast and scenic and quiet. It is absolutely magnificent in it's natural beauty. Peaceful, still.
A place that forever changed me.
I've been there before, the year prior and I felt how special it was then. When I stood among the Paulo Santo trees I felt the hairs on my arms rise. I felt almost a vibration coming from the earth. I was compelled to take off my shoes, to close my eyes, and to feel at one with mother earth in all her beauty.
This place is on the outskirts of Guayaquil, Ecuador. It is a farm where plants are grown, harvested, and used for distillation to create therapeutic grade essential oils. The farm is pure, no chemicals touch the soil, farming equipment is sparse. Most everything is done by hand.
If you know anything about essential oils you know that they have a high frequency (all living and non living things have measurable frequencies). By smelling the oils, and thereby raising our own frequency, we are able to strengthen our bodies and our thoughts. Some might even argue; experience a higher level of consciousness.
So back to three months ago. There I was in a familiar place but this time something different happened. For the first time in my life I experienced what I can only explain as God.
Nestled amongst this 2,000 acre farm is a wellness spa called Nova Vita. It was there that I received a treatment with essential oils designed to release emotions.
You know, those old bottled up ones that can really hold you back in life? Trust me on this one, it's a real thing.
The therapist there, Tamara Packer (who by the way I am convinced is an angel in physical form) began working on me to release some emotions. She talked me through different things that were buried deep in my heart. The guilt of my baby having been badly burned when he was 15 months old came out strong. I cried the deepest loudest cry I had ever cried. My husband came running into the room horrified at the sound. 'It was an accident', she had me repeating, 'it wasn't my fault'. I had know that, of course, but for the first time I actually believed it. Other deep rooted fears poured out of me and I was crying and crying until the moment when it was all out.
All of a sudden I felt so immensely grateful.
I was overflowing with gratitude and love. I felt it with every ounce of my being. At this point I was smiling uncontrollably, I was laughing. And then I felt so ridiculous.
I said, "This is so stupid, first I was crying and now I'm laughing!"
But it was in that exact moment that I knew I had just experienced God. I had experienced a higher level of love than I had never felt before. It was a love of all living things. It was a love of myself! I forgave myself. I felt gratitude for every single experience I have ever had. I felt gratitude for every single person I have ever known, and was ever going to meet.
The only way I can describe it is that in that very moment I felt as though I could finally see.
The treatment was over, my face felt hot. I went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. As I looked in the mirror I saw the most beautiful sight. It was my bare-naked face. I had on no makeup, my hair was in shambles. I thought, I am so beautiful. This is the face God gave me. It is perfect.
In that very instant, thirty three years of feeling too ugly, too skinny, too tall, too not-enough... it was all gone.
All I saw was beauty.
I want you to know that God gave you your beautiful face. He gave you your beautiful body and your beautiful mind. There in the middle of nowhere, I saw it to be true.
You were created from an all loving, all knowing, perfect being. You are a part of it and therefore you are it. You are beautiful. You are perfect.